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Friday, May 31, 2013

Dear Madame

I wanted to know madame, how would you feel if you were me? 

He stop caring for me, you see. Your smile cheered him up more than mine. Kind words were expressed in hurry, a mere sugar coating after our fights. But it was you he really cared. Just because you are there next to him. 

Would you like to live my life madame? Of forced smile and understanding words, even though deep inside I was torn and humiliated. Oh you never know madame, the pain I felt inside. He said he needs you to help cope with his loneliness, and I gave way. What can I do? He will still look for you even if I say no, so I gave way. And I lost him. Slowly but sure his smile fades from me, his laughter and our happy days grow sparse, and he is happier with you. 

Do you know how hard he tries to justify his feeling towards you? Some days he would explain things coherently, but most days I was somehow describe as a lesser woman than you. The fat one, the infidel one, the uncivilized one. That is just it. You are the one being brought to my house but I was the one that was driven away. How would you feel if you were me, madame?

It was not your fault. He should have been better. But still, can't you feel how much he likes you? Why can't you stop and have pity for me? Now I lost him, madame. I hold my fort long and fierce, but it crumbles now. And I love him so. More than you can ever love him. This is my life, madame. The life that you unknowingly help to destroy. See it, feel it, and please don't do it again. Don't destroy another woman. 

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